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Dating your ex again can exist a take a chance. If you go virtually it in an emotionally healthy way, you lot may be able to rekindle your human relationship and go far stronger than ever. Focusing on how you lot've grown and what you lot tin both to do go better partners tin can brand your new relationship flourish as you try again. By keeping a level head and communicating clearly, you can showtime dating your ex again in a healthy, stable way.

  1. one

    Focus on your own life first. Breakups are tough, and dealing with emotional hurting is never piece of cake. Effort to work on yourself past eating well, exercising regularly, and working on your ain personal goals.[1] If your ex sees yous every bit a more well-rounded person, they'll probably be more open to dating y'all—and this could fifty-fifty attract them to yous over again every bit they see what they're missing.[ii]

    • Approaching your ex when you lot aren't doing well might lead to them pitying you, and no i wants that.

  2. 2

    Attract your ex by staying aristocratic. If you text your ex constantly or transport them messages on social media, they might feel overwhelmed. Stay focused on your own life and attempt to piece of work on your goals until y'all experience confident enough to attain out once more.[3]

    • Showing your ex that you're doing fine without them tin can make them even more attracted to you.

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  3. three

    Reach out when you feel ready. If it's only been a few days since your breakup, it'due south probably too soon. Try texting or calling your ex when you feel like you can handle a rejection, not when the breakup is even so fresh.[4]

    • This can be a piffling tough since there'south no gear up timeline for when you might feel "gear up." If you just experience alone or in demand of a human relationship, you should probably await a little longer.
    • You tin can showtime the conversation by proverb something like, "Hey, could nosotros meet up? I wanted to talk nearly maybe dating again, if you're interested."

  4. four

    Express your feelings and the reasons why yous desire to appointment over again. Most people treat breakups similar the absolute terminate of a relationship, then your ex probably isn't expecting this. Sit down with your ex and endeavour to list the reasons why you think your relationship could work this time, and be prepared to answer any questions they might accept.[5]

    • You could try saying, "I know our relationship was rocky in the past. I've really been working on fixing my bad habits, and I call up we could really make it work this time."
    • Your ex may besides say no or be hesitant about trying your relationship once again, which is valid. Heed to their concerns and try to piece of work it out together.

  5. 5

    Talk about relationships you had while you were apart. If yous dated someone later you two split up, allow your ex know. If they dated someone for a while likewise, ask about it. You don't have to get into specifics, merely you should both know near any other relationships that happened when you weren't together.[half dozen]

    • It can be tough to hear about what your ex did when y'all weren't together, merely information technology'south better to find out at present than be blindsided later on.
    • If your ex is upset that you lot dated someone else, effort to address their fears or concerns before jumping into your relationship to avoid bug down the road.

  6. vi

    Agree to work on your quondam problems. When you've already been together, you both know about the issues that could arise in the future. Every bit you two talk about your new human relationship, be certain to address the problems that happened in the by and what yous can both practise to avert them in the hereafter. Attempt to stay away from the arraign game, and instead focus on actionable steps that you can both take.[7]

    • For example, if you lot fought a lot nearly coin, agree to be more than open with your finances to avoid any surprises.
    • Or, if you weren't on the same page about marriage, talk about your life plans and where you see yourself in 5 years.
    • Or, if either of you had trust bug, talk nigh beingness honest with each other no matter what.

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  1. 1

    Take your human relationship irksome. No matter what phase of your relationship yous were in earlier, your new human relationship is but that: a new one. If you were living with your partner, engaged, or even married, only treat your human relationship similar you're dating again for the commencement time.

    • Taking things slow tin also assist yous both correct any negative behaviors that led to your breakup.
    • If you were living together, consider living separately for a while, even after you've gotten back together.

  2. 2

    Create new memories instead of reliving former ones. If you were with your ex for a while, it might be easy to fall into the aforementioned patterns that y'all were used to. Try do new and exciting things together to go on the human relationship fresh and rekindle your romance.[8]

    • For example, yous could have a weekly date night to visit a new restaurant yous've never been to.
    • Or, yous could plan a weekend getaway to a town you've never visited before.

  3. 3

    Piece of work on irresolute your one-time behaviors. If you find yourself falling back into the patterns that acquired issues in the first place, recognize them and work to correct them. You know now what could atomic number 82 to a breakup, so attempt to avert that at all costs.[9]

    • It'south one thing to say you lot'll exist better with your money, but it's some other thing to actually stick to your budget every month and avoid overspending.
    • Y'all can also ask your partner to bank check in with you lot about your bad habits. If they notice anything worrying, they can let you know before information technology becomes a trouble.

  4. 4

    Communicate calmly and respectfully. If your partner is doing something that you have a problem with, sit them down and talk to them about it. You can also ask them to practice the aforementioned thing for you. Effort to talk about problems as before long as they come up up, and practise information technology without yelling or blaming each other.[10]

    • Skillful advice is 1 of the biggest indicators that a relationship will work. When your communication breaks down, that'south when the problems really start.
    • For example, you could say, "I noticed that you're staying out belatedly once more without calling me, and that's made me upset in the past. Could nosotros talk well-nigh this before it turns into a huge issue?"
    • If you're having trouble communicating, consider seeing a couple's counselor.

  5. 5

    Avoid talking almost your breakdown as well much. It was probably painful for both of you, and you don't need to remind your partner near it every solar day (or every fourth dimension y'all get in a fight). Focus on enjoying the now, not living in the past with your bad memories.

    • When y'all agree to rekindle your relationship, make sure you're over the issues that caused your breakup. If y'all aren't over them or yous oasis't fabricated your peace with them, you'll probably bring them up to injure your partner in the time to come.

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  1. ane

    Ask yourself why y'all'd like to date your ex again. Is it because you're alone? Or do you really miss your ex for who they were? If you think that you lot're simply pursuing your ex again because you don't want to be single anymore, you should accept some time to work on yourself.[eleven] [12]

    • Getting into a relationship but to exist in a relationship usually doesn't stop well, especially with someone you've dated before.

  2. 2

    Analyze the reasons you lot broke upwards in the start place. If y'all even so aren't over it or y'all haven't fully processed information technology, you should probably hold off. Really think about the problems in your relationship and what caused your separate before you start talking to your ex again.[thirteen]

    • For case, if your ex cheated on you, you might have to consider whether or non you're willing to forgive them before yous become back together.
    • Or, if y'all only grew apart, yous might want to think almost how you could reconnect and rekindle your relationship in the future.

  3. 3

    Retrieve about the bad times equally well as the good times. When y'all look back on your relationship, it's easy to only think nearly the times when you two were really happy. Yet, before you decide to pursue the relationship again, think about the times when y'all were sad, angry, or frustrated. Are you willing to gamble going through that again, or is it likewise much to handle?[14]

    • If you're having trouble remembering the tough times (these tend to fade with time), consider asking your friends virtually it. Chances are, they'll retrieve when you talked about your frustrations in the relationship.

  4. 4

    Stay away from your ex if your human relationship was toxic. Toxic relationships tin be easy to miss when you lot're in them. Recall virtually how often you and your ex fought and how good yous were at communicating your bug. If you brought out the bad in each other, it might be ameliorate to move on.[15]

    • Over again, you lot can talk to your friends and family about this, besides. They've probably recognized some bad patterns in your relationship, fifty-fifty if you lot oasis't.

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Add together New Question

  • Question

    Should I showtime dating my ex again?

    Amy Chan

    Amy Chan is the Founder of Renew Breakup Bootcamp, a retreat that takes a scientific and spiritual arroyo to heal after the stop of a relationship. Her team of psychologists and coaches has helped hundreds of individuals in just two years of operation, and the bootcamp has been featured on CNN, Vogue, the New York Times, and Fortune. Her book about her work, Breakup Bootcamp, volition exist published by HarperCollins in January 2020.

    Amy Chan

    Relationship Coach

    Expert Reply

    Back up wikiHow by unlocking this practiced respond.

    Not necessarily. It'due south normal to miss your ex subsequently a breakdown—your brain is still looking for the comfort that yous used to arrive the human relationship. However, that doesn't necessarily mean information technology's a good idea to get back together.

  • Question

    Why do I desire to get back with my ex?

    Amy Chan

    Amy Chan is the Founder of Renew Breakup Bootcamp, a retreat that takes a scientific and spiritual approach to heal later the end of a relationship. Her team of psychologists and coaches has helped hundreds of individuals in merely 2 years of operation, and the bootcamp has been featured on CNN, Vogue, the New York Times, and Fortune. Her book near her work, Breakup Bootcamp, will be published by HarperCollins in January 2020.

    Amy Chan

    Relationship Motorbus

    Expert Respond

    Support wikiHow past unlocking this skilful answer.

    Feeling sad and missing your ex after a breakup is natural. When you first get together, you experience a big flood of chemicals that make yous feel exhilarated and close to your partner. During a breakup, your encephalon experiences those same chemical reactions, simply in opposite.

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  • Your ex might non want to date you again, and that's okay. Try to focus on yourself and motion on when you feel ready.

  • If you lot're having trouble talking to each other, consider seeing a couple's counselor to get a third-party perspective.

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